I did WHAT?

     

 

It has been one HELL of a week! My husband amicably parted ways with his employer of 4 years.  My littlest one got the flu. My 16 year old honestly thinks she is a wise adult and should be left to her own devices.  I accidentally cheated in a 10K today and am currently listed as the Overall Female Masters Winner with a finishing time of 39:01!  This translates into a 6:17 mile.  I am fairly certain that I could not run that fast if a pack of knife wielding psychopaths were chasing me. And to top it all off...the 'Pièce de résistance' if you will...is that I took my 6 year old to a birthday party at the local skating rink and while I totally ROCKED the roller skates, I LOST my glasses.  That's right.  My prescription glasses.  At the skating rink.  Who does that?  I literally was wearing them one minute and then realized (obviously)  later that I was no longer wearing them.  Le sigh. 

    Cut to this morning.  The Bayou Hills 10K/5K and one mile fun run.  Quick backstory....I started running with the C25K app back in 2012.  I sort of have a love/hate relationship with running. But, I mostly love it.  I have done a few half marathons and had a respectable Double Bridge Finish in 2013.  When I am running consistently, I probably average about a 10:30 mile.  However, 2014 was a hectic year with the purchase of our first house, going back to work, being heavily involved in our local theater....you get the picture.  And my running, sadly, took a backseat.  I did train enough to finish the Double Bridge 15K back in February, but not with a any kind of stellar time.   Then my favorite running buddy talked me into registering for the Bayou Hills 10K.  I did not run AT ALL in between races...a full month.  Not my brightest move.  Anyway, we got up this morning and headed to the run.  I was not feeling it.  IN MY DEFENSE...when I ran this race in 2013 with another friend, she mentioned at the start of the race that she was going to decide if she wanted to go for the 10K or not on the course....that there was a left you could take early on that would take you the 5K route instead of the 10K.  So, I had that little tid bit stuck in my head before we even started! 


    Also, and many of you may find this information SHOCKING, but the Bayou HILLS race course is, well....HILLY!  I know, crazy, right?  With all those damn hills, by mile 2, my "I have not run in 4 weeks" ass was DYING.  (also, this race does not give out medals.  If they did...we could have avoided this little debacle...because I would have pushed through for some bling.  Take note, Bayou Hills!!) 

   Anyway, when I came to the "fork in the road", I really did not hesitate to make that lovely left turn at the 5K sign and just truck on in.  (And by "truck" I mean I finished with my slowest 5K time ever!)  And I swear I never thought for a second that I was about to seriously fuck up ALL OF THE THINGS.

    Based on what my friend said back in 2013, (and again....I am totally blaming her.  Although she shall remain nameless) I honestly thought they would track my distance.  Yeah...not so much.  Do you want to hear the totally classic part???   They had the finish set up with 10K runners to the left and 5K to the right.  And as you were coming to the finish line, the race announcer would let people know the deal...."10K to the left...5K to the right!"  Loud and clear over the mic.  I suppose so the super fast 10K folks (who were just starting to cross the finish) didn't plow down the slow-ass 5K folks.  At any rate, as I was slugging towards the finish line, and happened to be on the left side of the course....the announcer guy politely shouted right at me over the mic, "5K to the RIGHT!"   Clearly I do not look like someone who would be sailing across the finish of the 10K at 39 minutes.  Anyway, I got my water and waited for my buddy to cross so I could take her picture...and then we left.  Of course, I posted a picture on Facebook confessing my decision to take the easy way and only do the 5K.

 Imagine my surprise (and utter HORROR) when a friend who is a serious runner (like, tri-athlete serious) commented on said picture/Facebook post with this...


"Did you tell anyone?  Because they just announced you as the Overall Female Masters Winner."

     I'm sorry....Wha?  At first, I thought she was joking with me...ribbing me for my slow ass 5K time.  Then I re-read it...and about shit my pants.  What????  O.M.G.  I died.  Of course, it made perfect sense that I would screw it up like that once it happened.   And apparently all I had to do to prevent it was TELL SOMEONE.  But, I did not.  And now, if you go to the website, you will see my name and info next to a time and an award that do not belong to me.  (I know this, because I have a friend that thought it would be awesome to screen shot it and send it to me.)  

    I immediately texted my running buddy, who was napping at the time...because, you know...she actually DID the 10K like we were supposed to.  She literally has NOT stopped laughing.  I think she has told every person she knows....and possibly some strangers.  While I do find the humor in the whole situation, I am not sure anyone is as tickled as she is. 

   She also just informed me that the gal who let me know on my Facebook page that they (incorrectly) announced me as the Overall Female Masters winner, (I am sorry....I really like saying it...even though it is hogwash.  Also, is it weird that I sort of want to toss the word "GRAND" in front of "Master"? No?  Ok.) Well, SHE was next in line.  Let me let that sink in....she was (not so) subtly letting me know that I stole her first place award.  I am cracking up, because I am certain when they called my name as the Overall Female (Grand) Masters Winner....she was absolutely thinking to herself, "Excuse me?  Um.....no. I know her. Not possible."   I literally can not stop shaking my head at myself. 

   Now, don't you worry.  I emailed the race folks right away.  Well....right after I texted my running bestie.  I let them know my mistake and apologized profusely.   I am certain the true winner let them know there was a grave mistake as well.  I have not heard back from them.  I really hope I am not banned from that race.  Or, if I am....hopefully that is the only one in our area.  I really love the Double Bridge Run. 
 It truly was an honest mistake.  And I really hope the rightful winner gets her prize.  But in the meantime, I have to laugh at myself.  And also, I am seriously considering getting this framed.  You know....just to pretend.